I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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