i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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