so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
