How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Pants are for mortals
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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