She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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