just tell him i said nine months
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i will never coherently bang her
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
