i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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