i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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