No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
