why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
