I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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