just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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