Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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