I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
