she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
