um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Sober January is a disaster.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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