i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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