we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
