i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
