Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
birth control should be required to get into college
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
