so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
the condom got lost in my hair
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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