Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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