so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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