I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
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So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
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Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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