it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize