Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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