smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm always down for nudity.
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