you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
