pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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