I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
