so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
