just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
