after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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