I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
