He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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