No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
