whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
How naked do you want me to be?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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