is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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