Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
