after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
