Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
