No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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