She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
