Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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