I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
