Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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