I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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