; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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