I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
