You're completely useless in the revolution.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
