I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
