I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
