i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
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everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
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He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize