well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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