On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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