are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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