I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
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