i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
