Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
