He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
