making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
