If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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