don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
