You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
